Category Archives: Violence against women and girls

Paedophiles on Rage in Nigeria

The discussion on the activities of the child molesters has been on center stage in literature over the years. Nigeria as an independent nation has her own share of this psychological disorder. The rampant nature of these child predators has been at the worrisome stage in the past decades. It should be noted that this menace has no boundaries- be it …

Woman breaks the head of her house maid in Abuja

Here is an incidence of domestic violence against a house help that occurred last night at Abuja, a woman beat up her house help just because she mistakenly spills her baby milk. The woman is said to be on the run, while the girl is receiving treatment at the hospital. The girl’s slippers goes a long way to show how the little girl is being treated …

Catholic priest arrested after an 11-year old girl used her phone to record her abuse by the priest

A Catholic priest in Italy has been arrested after an 11-year-old girl used her phone to record herself being sexually abused. Father Michele Mottola is accused of sexually abusing the girl in Trentola Ducenta, near Naples. In the disturbing recording, the priest can be heard asking the young girl to kiss and hug him amid the sound of her protest. …

38-year old Barber sentenced 20 years imprisonment for Defiling 12-year old neighbour

An Ikeja Special Offences Court on Friday sentenced a 38-year-old barber, Jobi Kayode, to 20 years in prison for defiling his 12-year-old neighbour. Hon. Justice Oluwat Taiwo sentenced Kayode after finding him guilty of a charge of defilement on the strength of the complainant’s testimony and the medical evidence. “The prosecution has proved its …

Our father defiled us at knife point – teenagers tell court

A middle-aged father of seven have been accused of allegedly sexually molesting two of his teenage female children at knifepoint in their home. An illustrative photo of a rape victim Led in evidence by prosecution counsel, Mrs Arinola Momoh-Ayokanbi, they told the court that their father had seven children – five girls and two boys. They testified …

Why women wait years to come forward about rape

 


ANNE GODLASKYNANCY ARMOUR | USA TODAY
Matt Lauer denies new rape allegation as former NBC colleagues call allegation 'painful'
 Matt Lauer denies new rape allegation as former NBC colleagues call allegation ‘painful’
Matt Lauer denied the new rape allegation in a letter from his lawyer to Variety. His former NBC colleagues called the allegation “painful.”

Former NBC News employee Brooke Nevils reported to NBC in 2017 that Matt Lauer raped her during the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi,according to new details published in a forthcoming book by Ronan Farrow. (Nevils, who had previously been anonymous, filed a complaint that led to Lauer’s firing from the “Today” show nearly two years ago, though the public only knew then that he had been terminated over “inappropriate sexual behavior.”) Lauer, on Wednesday, denied the rape accusation as “categorically false.”

That Nevils waited years to report the alleged incident and go public is unsurprising, sexual violence experts say.

Only about 1 in 4 survivors report being abused and, of those who do, delayed reporting is “definitely the norm,” said Scott Berkowitz, founder and president of RAINN, the nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization.

Rape is the most under-reported crime: 63% of sexual assaults are not reported to police, according to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center. Perpetrators of sexual violence are less likely to go to jail or prison than other criminals, according to RAINN.

“No matter how old you are or what the context is, it can be incredibly difficult to make a report of sexual assault,” said Emily Martin, the vice president for Education and Workplace Justice at the National Women’s Law Center.

Helplessness, terror and shame

The reasons for not disclosing are myriad, ranging from the fear of not being believed to not wanting to have to relive the assault to not wanting the assault to become their identity. There is also the fear of retaliation if the abuser is in a position of power.

When someone is physically attacked or experiences other kinds of trauma, they may feel helplessness, terror and other extreme, negative emotions. However, it’s likely they will be able to get support from others and unlikely they’ll need to keep it a secret. But when the trauma is sexual, it violates the most intimate parts of a person’s body and psyche. Added to the feeling of helplessness is humiliation with a long and strong cultural history, creating a complex, potent cocktail of shame. 

Beverly Engel, a psychotherapist who has worked with sexual assault victims for almost 40 years, notes that not reporting an assault is more common than reporting it – and shame is a big reason why.

“People who are full of shame don’t have the self-confidence to report,” she said. “They have a very strong belief it was their fault already and then they have a belief they’re going to be blamed.”

June Tangney, a clinical psychology professor at George Mason University, agrees that reporting, even outside of law enforcement, can seem like “a no-win situation.”

“It feels like such a terrible, terrible risk to tell someone, because a lot of bad things could happen. There’s the feeling that they will now see you as spoiled or dirty or damaged in some way,” Tangney said. “Are they going to see me as a different person? Are they going to believe me? Being invalidated in that way is very harmful.”

People have a hard time believing ‘good guys’ rape

Sexual predators don’t have a scarlet S on their foreheads. They don’t dress in trench coats. Most, in fact, appear to be nice, normal people – making it that much harder for anyone to believe they’re capable of such heinous acts.

“People who carry out sexual assault are skilled at manipulation, not just the victim but people around them. Appearing kind and friendly,” said Kristen Houser of the National Sexual Violence Resource Center and Pennsylvania Coalition Against Rape.

Before his firing, Lauer had become one of the most recognizable faces in morning television. But as Variety reported in 2017, “work and sex were intertwined” for Lauer, who developed a pattern of inviting women late at night to his hotel room while covering the Olympics over the years, and to his secluded office within 30 Rockefeller Center.

Matt Lauer in the Rosa Khutor Mountain Village ahead of the Sochi 2014 Winter Olympics on Feb. 6, 2014 in Sochi, Russia.

“They’re great at presenting a public persona much of the time that does not add up to what we think someone capable of sexual assault looks like,” Houser said.

For their victims, yet another reason for silence.

“The victim is often left really confused because they’ve now seen two sides of a person that don’t add up,” Houser said. “They’re much more familiar with the manipulation side, the side that looks nice and trustworthy.”

So survivors often question themselves, Houser said, wondering whether the abuse really happened or if they did something to provoke it. Some will remain in contact with the abuser, even stay friends with him or her, hoping the “normalcy” will protect them from a future assault.

“People often don’t want someone to do time in jail. They just want them to never do that to them again,” Houser said. “And they don’t want them to do it to someone else.”

Combating shame

Confidants have a lot of power and responsibility to help survivors release shame, therapist David Bedrick says.

“I think when someone gets shamed by … gaslighting, they need the opposite. Someone who doesn’t deny it. ‘I believe you’ is really important. ‘I want to know the details,’ that’s really important,” Bedrick said. “When someone takes interest in the details not to figure out why you screwed up but because they want to know, (the victim) feels like they see them. And having a feeling response.”

Though not for everyone, speaking out about the experience upends the shame for many women.

 

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TECH SAFETY TIPS FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SURVIVORS

Tech Safety Tips for Domestic Violence Victims Tech devices such as phones and computers are vital in one’s life, but they can also easily make you vulnerable to abuse. Being a victim of domestic violence is not somebody’s fault, but one must take the necessary measures to prevent the abuse from ever happening again. Using a VPN is an effective …

Man hails himself for successfully raping a 14-year old girl in Niger state, says it’s mission accomplished

  A 32-year old man, Nura Abdullah has been arrested for raping a 14-year old girl in Suleja Local Govt. Area of Niger state. Instead of showing remorse, he rather hailed himself, and says it’s a mission accomplished. Nura who was paraded before Journalists in Minna said that he had been setting trap for the victim for a long time and that …

Sexual violence: Governors’ wives decry rises cases of sexual offences against women and children

Wives of 36 State governors on Tuesday protested against violence targeting women and children calling on the Inspector-General of Police to create sexual offences desks in all police stations Nationwide. Their position was contained in a statement signed by Bisi Fayemi, wife of Chairman, Nigerian Governors’ Forum, Kayode Fayemi; Chair, Northern Governors …

WOMAN BREAKS THE HEAD OF HER HOUSE HELP WITH THE EDGE OF A PLASTIC FAN

This report was sent to CRACO by one Temi Tayo Robin as follows: __________________________________ I pride myself for being as human as possible and standing up for those who are incapable of doing so! This evening after i got back from ikorodu and had my bath.. I was dressing up when i had the usual beating my neighbour’s wife dished out to …